Am busy going through many archived e-mails between myself and some old contacts from (deceased) JibJab. This due to dumping ATT tomorrow, and needing to save some treasured items prior to this change. The following are a few of my favorites.
Note – I put my comments in italics. I’d sent this on June 8, 2010.
Hello; I thought I’d poke a little fun at these “experts” on diet. This is an interesting article; however, apart from that endangered animal called “common sense”, the human nature gene plays a large part in changing things.
The subject -again- is weight loss; I see numerous articles on yahoo about this, so when I saw this item, I had to fwd it with my comments inserted within.
P.S. you’ll see how I use Juice – 100% juice – as a healthy venue.
Sip Your Way to a Flat Belly!
There is a potion that magically strips away pounds from your body, improves your overall health, lengthens your life, makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, and keeps you lean forever. Even better, you can have as much of this magic weight-loss potion as you want, for free, and start stripping away pounds—perhaps even several dozen pounds this year alone—without exercise, without dieting, without visiting the set of Nip/Tuck.
Who’s your dealer; I want some!!!
What is this magical elixir? It’s water. I guessed they were going to say water. How many of us find it easy to ingest a half gallon of water a day? (8 glasses @ 8oz each) Ok, wiseguys, light beer doesn’t count!!
Really? Really. You don’t even need to mix in that fancy fat-burning stuff from the vitamin store. In fact, the less you supplement your food and beverage intake, the more weight you’ll lose (and the more money you’ll save). Keep reading this five-point plan from the new book Drink This, Not That!
I should mention: I didn’t click on any of these links; they don’t call it the “web” for nothing, and I’ve had my share of suddenly realizing I “wasn’t in Kansas” anymore!
and begin your no diet weight-loss goals today. You’ll sip your way to a flat belly in record time–and keep it well beyond summer.
The newest example of a “P.T. Barnum” in my humble opinion, is that nervy item called Vitamin water. I mean really! Don’t get out your calculators, you can imagine the cost of buying this regularly; I feel the same way about this as I do those energy drinks: have you had your minimum daily adult requirement of Bull Bile today? Mmmmm!
Step 1: Swear Off the Soda and Iced Tea
Loss: 18 Pounds!)
The National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey measured where most of our calories come from. Researchers broke up America’s food intake into 143 different categories and discovered, to their horror, that the category making up the largest percentage of our calorie intake—7.1 percent, to be exact—was not a food at all. It was soda. (Vegetables, on the other hand, accounted for only 6.5 percent of our intake. Chicken and fish together only added up to 5.7 percent.) To put that into perspective, if you ate an average of 2,500 calories a day, and you cut 7 percent of your calories, you’d automatically drop down to 2,325, a difference that would save you 1.5 pounds per month. You could be 9 pounds lighter in 6 months by going cold-turkey today! Another thing to remember: You’re far better off eating your vitamins than drinking them. Here are 40 foods with scientifically proven superpowers.
Ok; so for (unhappily) many Americans, their daily ration of Coke, Pepsi, and/or other sodas does mean an excess of what I came to call “white death” – refined sugar – but there are so many foods with hidden sugar and/or sodium, that sodas are hardly the major problem, unless you drink a “six pack” daily. I have known some “sodaholics”.
What’s funny (I’m not being sarcastic) is that sugar, ingested by eating real sugar cane, also contains calcium, and in parts of the world where this grows, and is their main “sweet” source, tooth decay is minimal. Refining it is what makes it bad.
WTF attacking iced tea?? Tea is a good thing.
Homemade “sun tea” to make iced tea, eliminates the unnecessary stuff you find in the store variety.
A bit of honey ( if you are insistant on sweet) is healthy just prior to chilling; add to taste. You won’t need much, honey is twice as sweet as sugar. I find that making iced tea, and adding lemon juice instead, is both refreshing, and a good way to get that daily water intake they suggest.
Step 2: Drink 8 Cups of Water Every Day
(Annual Weight Loss: 26 Pounds!) And Pigs fly…
Yes, the magic elixir really does have amazing powers. In one study, a group of 173 overweight women were put through diet and nutrition training using mainstream diet programs. Researchers then followed them for 10 months, with dietary and body composition being recorded up to 12 months after the classes. All women in the program lost weight, but those drinking more water lost more weight. Drinking more than 1 liter of water per day (nearly 4½ cups) was associated with an extra 5.07 pounds lost in 12 months.
And researchers from the University of Utah found that people who drink the most water have higher metabolisms.
In a study, subjects drank 4, 8, or 12 cups of water each day. Those who drank at least 8 cups reported better concentration and higher energy levels, and And issed P like racehorses… tests showed that they were burning more calories than the 4-cups-a-day group.
Wow; 12 x 8= 96oz… 3/4 gallon per day. Where’s the nearest restroom?
Of course, if you’re looking to lose weight, diet is only half the equation. For the other half, check out our list of the 100 best fitness tips ever written. Your best beach body awaits!
Even when I was young, no amount of exercise would get rid of my “potbelly”. I could do 70 sit-ups in two min. at eighteen… Good ‘ol scoliosis…
Step 3: Enjoy One, Two, or Even Three Yogurt-Based Smoothies a Day
(Annual Weight Loss: 10 Pounds!)
I love the sound of a cranking blender. How much crank do you use? -sorry- But a combination of ice, dairy, and fruit does more than just make a teeth-rattling cacophony in your kitchen. It also helps strip pounds from your body. So does sexercise...
There are three simple reasons why: Smoothies take little time to make (so you can quash your hunger pangs quickly), they’re packed with nutrition (especially if you start with Greek yogurt and add berries, whey protein, and some flax), and their thickness takes up a lot of space in your stomach, crowding out the Doritos.
Hmmm; flax… the better to (four letter word) regularly, my dear. And what, pray tell, is “Greek” yogurt? Where does one buy whey protein, anyway?
In fact, researchers at Purdue University found that people stayed fuller longer when they drank thick drinks than when they drank thin ones, and a study at Penn State found that people who drank yogurt shakes that had been blended until they doubled in volume ate 96 fewer calories a day than those consuming thinner drinks.
I don’t have a problem with yogurt; especially if you buy the plain yogurt, and add your own fruit at home, thereby eliminating other added things. But for those of us who suffer from lactose intolerance, this is no answer.
And speaking of deceptively unhealthy foods, check our must-know roundup of 30 “Health” Foods That Aren’t. You’ll be shocked to learn how smoothies, salads and veggie wraps–among other seemingly healthful fare–might be sabotaging your weight-loss goals thanks to deceptive marketing practices.
Weren’t they just talking up smoothies?
Step 4: Avoid Juice Drinks
(Annual Weight Loss: 19 Pounds!)
Imagine a world in which we called products what they really were: Hungry Man Dinners would be called Lonely Man Dinners. ESPN would be called the Fat Nerds Yap about Jocks Channel. And SunnyD would be called Obesi-D because there’s nothing sunny about a drink marketed to kids that looks and tastes like juice, but is 95 percent water and corn syrup.
An excellent observation. O.J. may be caloric, but it IS juice. Sunny D. is so sweet, that it borders on sickening.
While even 100 percent juice has its problems,I take umbrage with attacking real juice. The 100% juices don’t contain high fructose corn syrup; (if you read labels as I do, many foods have this as a prominant ingredient)
To reduce the calorie intake, I keep an empty 64 oz juice container, and “cut” it in half. It’s still good for you, and at 50% juice, beats out those “drinks” that are usually only about 15- 20% juice, and loaded with “high fructose corn syrup”.
juice drinks and their ilk are the worse offenders. One 16-ounce bottle of SunnyD Smooth packs a whopping 180 straight-up empty calories and 40 grams of sugar. If you drink one a day, cut it out. You’ll lose 19 pounds in a year!
And SunnyD is just the beginning. See the worst beverages in the supermarket for a complete list of jaw-dropping drinks–and their healthier alternatives.
Step 5: Drink Coffee, Not Coffee Drinks
(Annual Weight Loss: 18 Pounds!)
Researchers studied coffee habits in New York and found that two-thirds of Starbucks’ customers opted for blended coffee drinks over regular brewed coffee or tea. The average caloric impact of the blended drinks was 239 calories. The regular coffee or tea, by comparison, was only 63 calories after factoring in added cream and sugar. So even if you like your coffee sweet and light, you can strip away 176 calories every day, just by making this one swap.
Good coffee, (not “instant” thank you) doesn’t need to be embellished. Those horrid flavored varieties (in tins) are, well, pick up a tin and read the ingredients label.
If you are a victim of these, how about investing in an inexpensive coffee grinder, and buy whole bean coffee. Flavored or not, the myraid of great coffees available will convince you to never go back.
Now, budding mathematicians among you may notice that all this adds up to a whopping 91 pounds lost in a single year. This is not good news if you weigh 125. (However, travel just got a lot cheaper because now you can mail yourself all over the world.) Fact is, unless you’re currently engaging in all of the bad habits above, you probably don’t have 91 pounds to lose.
But this five-point plan illustrates how extraordinarily easy it is to shed extra weight—a lot of weight—just by watching what we drink. And that, my friends, is something worth raising a glass to.
When it comes to keeping off weight, the proverbial ball is in our court.
I am not a saint; I’m a cheese lover. If I eliminated cheese from my diet, (given the amount of fat calories) I might find a weight loss similar to what they claim from following their formula.
(since I’ve no plan to “mail myself” don’t hold your breath!!)
I don’t imbibe many alcoholic drinks, though I appreciate a good Amber ale or two, now and then. Also I do love a good Margarita, Tom Collins, (talk about a refreshing summer drink!) or Bloody Mary.
I rarely drink soda, I don’t eat bacon, (swearing off that was not easy; like most people, a good BLT used to be heaven for me)
I don’t buy cookies, seldom get ice cream, (and then only Breyers)
Forget “Little Debbie” and the Hostess items. Twinkies have a “half life” of 200 yrs
If I get the chocolate urge, I get Hershey’s nuggets -dark chocolate with almonds. (my source for inexpensive Belgian chocolate dried up, and I do restrict this propensity)
I consciously avoid buying jars of pickles; I love all of them, especially good garlic dills, and would likely wipe out half the jar in one sitting. (but I digress, hidden sodium is another topic).
And while I’m on the subject, here are 10 more simple weight loss secrets. Read them now and start melting pounds by tonight.
So here we are… I sometimes ponder that eliminating cheese; just to see the result. I’m about 180 lbs, and 5’10 “. I’d be shocked if I suddenly found myself approaching 160 lbs again. Haven’t been there since high school.
Realistically though, that would be a monumental exercise in willpower. I don’t know if I could stick it out long enough to see results.
# # # # #
This is just a tad risqué…
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines
from Kansas City to Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window)
turned to his mother and asked,
“If big dogs have baby dogs
and big cats have baby cats,
Why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer)
told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy asked the stewardess,
“If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats,
Why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The stewardess responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?”
The boy said, “yes she did”.
“Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes
Because Southwest always pulls out on time.
Have your mother explain that to you.”
Created for your personal enjoyment by karen
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The New Boss
At GM, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”
The CEO said, “Wait right here.” He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”
From across the room a voice said, “Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”