News we don’t need. Do it in the Tenderloin; I’m sure the Gays would love it…
Category: Humor
They don’t talk about what will happen to all of us when the dollar loses its position as the wold’s reserve currency and deflation of the dollar occur. LOOK BACK IN HISTORY AND SEE WHAT IS ALMOST UPON US
If you want more gun control humor, this interview with a general is worth sharing (presumably an urban legend, but could be true). Here’s a t-shirt that I’m putting on my Christmas list. And here’s a parody that shows how leftists think gun control works.
I just might come up with another video with this material… Note: these are all tee stirts at http://www.thoseshirts.com/atf.html No, they’re not all modeled…Perv’s!
Liked the parody of Fed X’s “When it absolutely… overnight”
“Dear optimist” is from another t shirt address; “roadkill” something or other. I forgot to keep the address.
International Liberty
Restraining Government in America and Around the World
Excellent Powerpoint Presentation on the 2nd Amendment
October 14, 2010 by Dan Mitchell
I’ve periodically put up gun control posters that have been very popular (here, here, here, here, and here). I’ve also posted amusing images of t-shirts and bumper stickers on gun control (here, here, and here). And I’ve posted three different videos on gun control (here, here, and here). If you liked those posts, you’ll really like this powerpoint presentation.
Firearms and the Second Amendment.
bluebird of bitterness
The world as seen through the eyes of Bob
From “chuckles” -
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious museum.
“I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy,” the archaeologist said. “It’s a man who died of heart failure.”
“Bring it in,” the curator replied. “We’ll check it out.”
A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were exactly right about the mummy’s age and cause of death,” he said. “How in the world did you know?”
“Easy,” the archaeologist replied. “He was holding a piece of papyrus that said, ’10,000 shekels on Goliath.’”
THESE CATEGORIES ARE BELOW THE TITLE; A WORD OF ADVISE: TAKE YOUR WATCH OFF, AND PUT IT IN FRONT OF YOUR MONITOR, IF YOU NEED TO BE SOMEWHERE BY A CERTAIN TIME… LOL
http://bluebirdofbitterness.wordpress.com/bobs-favorite-quotes/
Apropos to repost this…
Today I picked up my mother-in-law at the airport. She’s getting a little up there.
She’s at the age where she doesn’t remember things too well.
So when I saw her I said, “Thanks for coming. Have a nice flight!”
1) Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while hold pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into the mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from the floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3)Retrieve cat from bedroom, throw soggy pill away.
4)Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden.
6) Kneel on the floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail.
Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed.
Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire department to retrieve the cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
Take the last pill from foil wrap.
13) Using heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&%^’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to was pill down.
14) Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to give a Dog a Pill
1) Wrap it in bacon.
2) Toss it in the air.
Good Dog!!!!
http://grumpyelder.com/?p=21658
H/t to Loopyloo
Note – couldn’t find this on loopy’s pg…
PARTNERING WITH EAGLES
(sigh) S.O.S.D.D. Never should have gotten involved.
By Bob Gorrell – April 06, 2012